Today is officially the one year anniversary of my blog! Pomegranates and Passersby, happy one year old birthday (gave her a little makeover to light things up). Today is my last day to be 19. As I wrote last year, my mother always reminds me of this just a few days before my birthday, usually in her high squeaky voice while she squeezes my shoulders... I know she doesn't want it to happen either. And tomorrow, without fail, at the end of the day when everyone has their feet up, kicking back for the evening, she will ask me what it feels like to be 20 years old. And, without fail, it will probably feel the same as 19.
For some reason, thinking about turning 20 makes me queasy, puts my stomach in my mouth and gives me a slight chill like I'm going to start sweating. Birthdays are a funny thing... I always roll my eyes at people who whine and complain and act dramatic about turning one year older, thinking that I never want to be that person or act that way about my aging, but today is the first year that I've wanted to. I think a little part of it is because it is frightening to finally feel subject to the passing of time. But the comforting thing is knowing that there's so much more of it to come. The other piece is not feeling old enough or qualified enough to be a 20-year-old. But that's how it goes, usually the people you look up to don't feel mature and accomplished, they feel just like you. It's our same self day after day, year after year, not changing all that much.
And, no matter what, as old as I feel or feel like I should feel, I'll always be young to someone...
What is old anyways? Scrapping that word from here on out :)
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| Lily and Frances, on the last few miles of our hike. |
So, a year in review: started it in Vancouver with a homemade strawberry shortcake for breakfast and a blog to write, and ending it coming out of the 100 Miles of wilderness in Maine after 10 days of backpacking with my sisters. We didn't get eaten by bears, but we did see a Moose!
Honestly, 19 has been a little insane. I think I maxed out on my busy, and as a result, I will spend the next few years as an un-obligated person.
But the best part of being 19 was just finding out more about myself... living each day and not regretting any of it. Understanding how privileged I am, becoming closer to people I aspire to be like, beginning to dream about what I want my life to be, getting closer to my family, traveling to unbelievable places and seeing my wishes and dreams come true, but most importantly watching my hard work pay off. I'm ready to own my 20's!
