So of all times that I feel like its do or die with blogging is on one of the busiest days of my whole life... I don't get it. I have literally gone non-stop since 5 AM, which happens to me a few days a week, but today was especially much. The reason I am sitting here blogging when I should be doing my homework that's due at 8:30 AM tomorrow, probably sacrificing about an extra half hour of sleep, is because I feel truly satisfied, and I want to honor this moment of life, because its moments like these that will get mixed into the past as I look o my future. I do feel kind of checked out from my school work so I guess it might be a ploy to have a few more minutes of procrastination, but when I feel this way, I know that I am fulfilling what "the meaning of life" is to me, and it's satisfaction.
So I don't like to complain, but sometimes you just have to. Everyone knows what it feels like to go non-stop, and this is what my non-stop looks like: woke up at 5 AM and DRAGGED myself to the skating rink, which I hate because I always love love love it once we're 15 minutes into practice, its getting there that sucks... practiced for an hour and a half then ran a 2 mile interval workout at the track with the team. Went home just in time to catch my ride to my service learning program tutoring adults at the Goodwill (we have to complete 3 hours for my general psychology class), came back and closed my eyes/finished reading for my class for 10 minutes, went to class, reserved a room for our farms to K phone bank tonight, sat in the training room for like an hour waiting to get this sore spot on my foot looked at. ate quickly, had the phone bank, drove up to visit a teammate who lives at the top of the hill and talked about the meaning of life (the whole drive behind this post) and am now sitting in my beautiful, cozy living room doing homework and blogging with my housemates.
Now looking back on this day, I felt anxious so many times, but sitting here now I feel in control, and I feel love. The two things that motivated me the most today were the phone bank we had, in which another Charlotte from NJ had 200 people in Kalamazoo call Senator Stabenow to ask her to support the Fair Farm Bill. K-College was toe last calling site and we got to make the final calls to put our numbers over our goal. It was invigorating and empowering, and I feel so lucky to have been ale to make a difference like that and feel so good about myself. The second thing was going to see some of my favorite people in the world on my skating team who get together every night and talk about life. Now this was probably the 2nd to worst decision of my day, was going to see them when i have a ton of other stuff due, but it made me want to blog, so here I am.
That is really what life is all about to me, feeling satisfied. This must be weird to read as you are obviously not shirring this moment with me, but that's really all I'm getting at, is feeling satisfied... Maybe that definition of my feelings will morph and change, but that's truly what it is all about for me right now, and I have too many warm fuzzies after a day like today not to feel satisfied. This morning, I was not a happy camper, but little things throughout the day (like the rain which gave me a bit of extra time to shower, and caused golf practice to be cancelled) went my way, and here I am sitting and thinking... I love life.
Good night moon, thank you for the amazing people in my life!
xoxox
