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" 'Obsessive thinking will eventually wear a hole in your mind' --Michael Lipsey. Word. My brains like swiss cheese." -C. K. Shannon

Wednesday, 14 December 2011

Piece of advice #476 (or #1): Don't try to save food

Just eat it, or give it away... its not worth trying to save, conserve, preserve, whatever it will just end in a mess and you will lose more than just the food, but the container it was in. My friends recently left me behind some potatoes, onions and garlic in a sealed plastic container (smart, right?) Well here I am opening it 3 weeks later (food that will keep, mind you, or so it seems...) and I am greeted by an overwhelming pugnance of old man breath and BO all at once... the potato is inflated and has this weird mucus coming out of it which all of the other food has been sitting in for weeks. The kitchen is repulsive. I ran the veggies outside in the rain to dump out the potato mucus and transfer the other stuff to a plastic bag to save the plastic container. Of course I had to touch the stuff with my bare hands and have not clipped my fingernails in weeks. Double Of course even after washing my hands I decide to eat a piece of broccoli and stick the contaminated fingernails into my mouth. I now permanently taste, and smell old man sweat and BO. I washed the container out 4 or 5 times but I'm afraid the potato mucus has seeped itself into the cracks, and thus I throw the container away. RIP.

Sorry, I'm home alone and all worked up about this so I had to blog.
Thanks for reading. Always.

Yours disgustedly,
Charlotte

Tuesday, 6 December 2011

This post is called: I Just Bought a Printer for $49.95!


I sound like I should be on a commercial or something... running into a house waving my paper-light new printer over my head for everyone to see. I may have just been taken advantage of in my first adulthood consumer scam, or I may have just made one of the best decisions of my entire life (not to be melodramatic).
I have this book of coupons from "Bronco Bash" the student organization fair at Western Michigan University with some awesome deals in it, and because I am in Kalamazoo and out of school, I have made it my mission to "utilize my coupons" before the expire on December 31st. Ah yes, the great irony of spending money to save money... I'm living it.
Last year one of my dear hall-mates left our school :'( and in her "will" bestowed upon me her Epson Printer. This printer has served me many triumphant days until the ink ran out. Today I learned that the cartridges for this particular printer must be replaced, and cannot be refilled. Yikes! So here I was standing at the Cartridge World Counter about to have my debit card swiped to replace all three of the color inks (because the freaking printer won't print black and while unless all of the cartridges are full) for $39.95 after learning that I can't even use my coupon because it's for refills only (devastating), when the cashiers eyes light up, and she says: "Now dear, I realize that you're about to spend nearly $40.00 just to replace these cartridges (mind you we had already bonded over the pain of this price total for such a small amount of ink), so I can't help but bring to your attention that you can buy an entirely new printer WITH ink that can be refilled (so i could use my coupon! :D) for just $10.00 more!"
I braced myself for the moment I had known would come someday in my big-girl life, when someone would try to sell me a piece of crap and make it sound super appealing. But, being the softie that I am, I followed her around the corner and inspected the lone, un-boxed (seemingly sketchy, but I let it slide) printer.
And she won me over! I felt like I asked all of the right questions... like So why is this printer so cheap? and So what exactly does a 30 day guarantee mean? (it means if anything goes wrong in 30 days you can bring it back) and How outdated is this printer, and will is stay up to date? In the midst of all of this I could not find a reason not to spend $10.00 more and get what I was already buying plus an ENTIRE PRINTER!

So, I have a new friend sitting on my back seat. Now the tables have turned, and I'm going to become the sneaky, stealthy salesperson on some lone website trying to make my dysfunctional printer look as appealing as possible to sell to someone else... I'll let you know how it goes.