Death by Burpies

Crossfit, our method of fitness training here in Chiang Mai is certainly keeping me sore and exhausted. Right now the tops of my shoulders complain to me as I type, agitated after our sledge hammer swing workout yesterday. The title of this post is affectionately (not) named after Tuesday's workout where we did burpies (a combination of a jump/squat/pushup) until we just could not do them anymore. The rest of our Crossfit craziness has included regimens of max push-up and pull-up tests, squats, rowing and tire flips (yes, you read that right, the giant 14 wheeler kind!).

The exhaustion that I am experiencing from crossfit paired with everything that has overwhelmed me thus far is settling me into a nice routine of lots of sleep, regular eating habits, and of course school. It's strange to me that this out-of-the-ordinary time in my life is bringing me so much regularity and consistency day to day. Wake up 6:45 am. breakfast at 7, school at 8, home at 5, shower, dinner, homework, bed. Living with an 8 year old has definitely helped :)

I wanted to get a quick post in before we leave for our retreat this weekend with school, but I'm using ISDSI internet which is sadly not fast enough for a picture upload. Here's an update from this weekend and I will post pictures later!

On Sunday we made a family trip to Mae Rim, a rural suburb outside of Chiang Mai where Khun Me grew up and visited her family's rice farm. This was one of the most thrilling experiences of my life so far! Being there reminded me of a mealtime grace my family used to say, I think it is a Vietnamese poverb/prayer or something:

Heaven, please make the rain fall,

So that I may have water to drink,

So that I may plow my rice fields,

So that I may have my bowl of rice,

and my fish in great slices.

Standing out in the middle of the rice field was like experiencing the essence of the prosperity of humanity. Rice is symbolic (especially in Asia, but really worldwide) of success and community surrounding food. In Thai culture, if someone wants to ask you to share a meal, they ask: "Have you eaten rice today?" People here don't go one day without having rice. Being surrounded by kilometers of rice I could feel the core of food culture in Thailand, seeing earliest growth stages of what people survive on, thrive on and share together here in Thailand: the foundation of livelihood! The fields were a patchwork of rice beds, stitched together by raised paths, weaving through the sprouting plants. We were surrounded by foggy mountains, spitting rain came now and then as thunder rumbled in the distance, and the sun peeked through the stormy clouds. Standing out in the middle of it all on the narrow path was surreal, comforting, I felt strangely at home. Everything was peaceful and saturated with promise: the promise of prosperity!

300 Steps to Doi Suthep

Craziest looking fruit, crazy name too: Gnuee (said in bottom of throat with chin sticking out)> words verbatim from my notebook

The flesh of the fruit appears

... and it gets eaten- delish! Photo credit: Rita <3

My room!!

I locked my host mom in the kitchen! That is my “lede” for this post. I was sitting around idly before dinner (as usual… I haven’t figured out how to help in the kitchen yet) but thought I would extend my nightly offer for the 6^th night in a row. Khun me politely declined (as usual), so I tiptoed away to do… nothing, trying not to give off too much of disappointment.

I’m learning that there is a lot of harm in trying too hard not to make mistakes. When you try too hard, embarrassing situations seem to find you even more scar-ingly than you expect. I work myself into a big hole of embarrassment, where my desire to apologize, communicate, or just prove that I’m not as clumsy and forgetful as I come off, overwhelm me in an exasperated heap of silence. There is a point where there is no use making excuses, no use apologizing for a 87^th time, and no use saying it will never happen again, because of a deep fear/certainty that it will.

The previous day, Khun Me had grabbed my arm and pulled me over to the sliding door that I had left open a few inches and closed it tightly. “No snake, no mosquito” she had said, and I had pounded my head against the wall that I had neglected to do something as simple as close the door all the way. Well, back to me walking out of the kitchen: walking away from her in her apron and cooking cap, feeling disappointed and unhelpful, that moment of being taught to close a door tightly was fresh in my head. Wanting to remind myself (and others) that I really am a good house guest, I left the kitchen, and shut that double door tight, as tight as it would go, jabbing the stick we use to lock up at night through the two meeting handles. I brushed my hands together as I walked away, not one mosquito could get through that door... and neither could a human. A few minutes later I heard banging and my name being called, more muffled than usual behind the closed doors, and everything terrible came washing over me. How do you explain why you to put the stick through the handles of the kitchen door locking your host mother inside? I certainly don’t have the Thai vocabulary for that.

I am realizing other things about myself, too: I think of myself as neat, but stood for a few minutes in my room one day, putting myself in the shoes of a host. I am disgusting. There was hair all over the bathroom floor, my suitcases lay open on the ground, only half unpacked next to my giant armoire, my bed was unmade, and all of my personal belongings were in messy piles on the floor underneath the windows. I did a quick clean up, and hope to get better at putting my stuff away! This evening after I had gone in my room, Yod came up the stairs calling my name, so I came out to talk to him. “Excuse me Charlotte, I have to tell you something” he said, and came over to my door. “Don’t slam the door like this,” he said, pulling at it forcefully, “Turn the handle like this and then close” he scrunched up his shoulders and cocked his head poised for a perfectly silent door closing. We had already been warned at school not to “slam” our doors because Thai people think of Americans as noisy. I don’t know why this couldn’t just stick in my head. The Thai word for foreigners is “farang”. When Khun Me talks about the foreign teachers at Yod’s school, she turns her nose up, and pinches it. Yikes. But, for as many mistakes as I make, I put that much more effort into my Thai, so that when we can actually communicate with one another, all of my positive qualities will overshadow these circumstances! Khun Me is very kind, and though I think she understands, I can't help but feel stupid most of the time.

This weekend I want to make homemade pizza for my family. They said someone made it once before, but the crust was too hard, so I am on mission soft-crust. We were supposed to go shopping today for the ingredients and make the pizza for dinner, but by the time we were done with the bathing suit affair it was 5:00pm and Yod had tutoring at 6, so we didn’t have enough time. We came home only to find that Yod’s tutor had canceled, so we went our for pizza… the exact kind they LOVE. I think it is called like the Pizza Palace or something, but they tell me it is “same same Pizza Hut”, and it pretty much was. They were so excited to go, and enjoyed the food so much, I don’t have the inspiration to try to out-bake the processed food perfection. The pizza had like a velveeta coat instead of tomato sauce, then cheese, and then ham, pineapple, and shrimp on top. Not what I personally would have ordered, but it was pretty heavenly, the way that kind of food can be. It was also the first time I had eaten something so familiar since leaving home, so that felt good too.

This week I was definitely feeing the “W”’s that are embedded within the overall W curve of study abroad emotions. There were highs and lows, my low being on Wednesday when I felt like I had no friends, was never going to be able to remember even one word of Thai, and that my host family hated me. But then on Thursday did a complete 180, loving school and friends, and forgetting my Thai notebook in my carpool’s car but coming home with Thai spilling out of my mouth, not even wanting or needing it at all (Hallelujiah, my brain works! Just some minor technical difficulties). Another high came on Friday when we climbed a nearby mountain to visit the Doi Suthep Temple on top. Even though I was sweating barrels and it rained and was suffocatingly hot at the same time and mosquitoes ended up smushed dead into my sweat, it was breathtaking and I got blessed by a monk and a white cotton bracelet for good fortune and happiness. I’m feeling its blessing already :) There is a soft rain outside, kissing my room with cool air… hopefully it will take me less than a sweaty hour to fall asleep tonight!

xoxox

That "filmy" looking layer on this picture is a massive spider web, I hope you can see it...

Chiang Mai <3

The mosts sustainable lunch box... purple sticky rice, chicken and pumpkin greens wrapped in a banana leaf, with a little banana leaf packet of chili paste for flavoring

One of the temples in the temple complex

Doi Suthep

The inside of Doi Suthep

ISDSI! we signed our names on the piece of robe for visitors

Lam Yaiy in Chiang Mai!

We have had a nice, lazy weekend and tomorrow starts school! I bought two uniform shirts yesterday at the market when we went to visit Khun Paw (my host father) at his clothing store in the market. All of the clothes are made by hand! In Thailand all female students wear white button down shirts and black skirts, so I got some spiffy looking button-downs.

Dahlroudee making the Lam Yaiy muffins!

This morning I spent about an hour reading to Yod from Sleeping Beauty so he can get better at his English. Because I don’t understand enough Thai to help cook or do much else, it felt good to really be able to be a part of the “exchange” aspect of being hosted by a Thai family. Khun Me and Khun Paw are very focused on Yod’s schooling: he has Chinese and Thai every weekend, and occasionally English apparently! While we were doing that, Khun Me and Dohlrudee were busy in the kitchen making me “Welcome to Chiang Mai Muffins” I learned when they were ready. 

Khun Me waiting for the muffins to bake <3

I also learned that I am supposed to eat the majority of the 32-muffin batch. I’m glad they are absolutely delicious (or “a-loy” in Thai)! I have already had 6 today so I’m off to a good start :). They told us in orientation that Thai people are especially attentive to our small behaviors. If we take a bit more of something than something else, they immediately assume that it is our favorite food and bring it out every meal. Trying to be overly thankful and praising of everything they feed me, this hasn’t worked out for me too well, and I can’t remember how to say “I’m full” so I have eaten A LOT, not know how to say no. For example, we had papaya last night (delicious), and tonight a heaping plateful was placed directly in front of me for dessert. Already having stuffed my face with dinner I only ate a few pieces and I think they were disappointed. Another example: I slept around 12 hours both last night and the night before, so they shooed me up to bed tonight at 8:00 PM because I need to get up around 6:30 AM tomorrow for school. It is nice to be taken care of, but I wish I could communicate more!

Lam Yaiy muffins!

This is what the fruit Lam Yaiy looks like

I want to blog a bit more about the amazing food I have eaten, and I hope to have more pictures soon! The muffins were incredible, “Muffin Lam Yaiy”. Lam Yaiy is this peculiar little fruit I was introduced to yesterday. It is a round piece of fruit flesh encased in a hard covering that you crack open with your teeth. You then pop the white fruit into your mouth and remove the center seed. It has the texture and taste of very ripe cantaloupe. There were chunks of it throughout my muffins! They were really delicious. We do have rice with almost every meal, and I really enjoy it. For breakfast we have “Chao Tom” a soupy rice with carrots, cilantro, and bits of meat or shrimp, usually left over from dinner. We also had that again for lunch. For dinner tonight we had Pad King (I felt so happy when I recognized this as sounding like something in a Thai restaurant), which was like vegetables and meat in a ginger-y sauce, a vegetable tofu soup that I can’t remember the name of, and a fish/vegetable dish as well. It is all really amazing!

Chaow Tom (breakfast, and occasionally lunch)

Siblings... for a while :)

Yod and I both go to school tomorrow. I can’t understand much of what he and his parents say to one another, but I can tell he rules the house! He is quite a character. We went swimming again today, and played chopsticks on the piano, and had a lot of fun reading sleeping beauty! Thanks, Jordan, he really is like the little brother I never had :) More soon!

Pomegranates... ?!?

OOkulele

The garden

Just swingin'

Our not-real-at-all elephant

Khun Paw!

Saw-ad-dee-ka!

This is not the Wai, it is our "Thailand is HOT! Picture"! From left to right
Dalrudee, Yod, Me

Saw-ad-dee-ka, or, hello, good morning, good evening, goodbye, I greet you with this! As I greet you, I put my hand together in front of my chest with my elbows to my sides and bow my head slightly. 

I regret not being able to blog before my fourth day in Thailand as this will make for a long post! There isn’t much to say about my journey over except that it was LONG. I wrote in my journal at 5:15 AM on August 15^th at the JFK Airport:

"I fee kind of like a machine… I’m doing things that are so familiar to me, going through security, planning my hydration and pee breaks, in such a way that I have created an illusion for myself that I am going somewhere familiar. It doesn’t seem foreign or surreal, and most weirdly it doesn’t feel like a big deal! It just feels like another day with the TSA".

At that point I had been awake for over 20 hours, staying awake through the night until my 6am flight. Let’s just rhyme and have a good time. Staying awake really numbed the novelty and anticipation of my departure. I didn’t have a restless night's sleep or an early wake up, I simply lived through the day, and at the end of it left my house… for 6 months. 34 hours later, I was in Chiang Mai, Thailand!

After a short orientation with ISDSI (International Sustainably Development Studies Institute), I was super excited after we were told that ISDSI is basically Montessori School for College students. WOW. ISDSI and Montessori is all about experiential learning… activating all five senses in a first hand encounter type of environment. I was a Montessori student when I was younger, and learned how to pour, measure, mix, build, read and label fish by the time I was 4 years old, all by learning through doing. I am really, really enthused for what is to come during my time as a student there.

I’m really glad I didn’t blog last night because I think I would have terrified myself, and all of you. My journal reads: 

My host families house :)

“Today was absolutely insane and I’m so tired I need to go to bed right away. I’m so frustrated with myself because I can’t remember anything my host family tells me. I think my host brothers name is Yod? Or something? And the housekeeper is either Pajan or Pajin, I can’t remember which, and I don’t remember what I should call my host mother and father Jan Ma? Jan Pa? Yod’s friend is with us and she keeps laughing at me when I try to say thank you. It just won’t stick in my head! Their house is like a palace! It is enormous, and as you walk through there are a series of shoes you must wear for each room. I think I wore a total of four pairs of ‘indoor shoes’ from room”.

Yod, me and Dolrudee in a telephone booth in Chiang Mai while exploring the markets

The shoe craziness still makes me smile and “thank you” is still my hardest word (and I need to use it so often, darn it!), but I have  much more faith in myself. I can’t say that my Thai got better today, but I did come to terms with how difficult it is going to be to learn. I have absolutely no natural ability at this language whatsoever, but it is because the words and sounds have no roots to words or sounds I am familiar with. Now I understand why everyone coos over romance languages… they really are easier. Corrections to last night’s journaling: My host brother’s name is Yodbourdin (Yod for short) and he is eight years old. He is absolutely precious and speaks English so I have been doing ok on the communication front, even if it is through translation. I just love the things that he says like “really please very much” and “did you have really a fun time today?” and he is so welcoming and enthusiastic that I am living with them, and that make it really fun. 

Swimming!

His friend, Dolrudee (that took me a few hours to remember) is spending 2 nights with us, and we can’t really talk much. She is 9. The poor things spent 2 hours with me this morning fter breakfast, teaching me words (numbers, body parts) and shaking her head at my horrific pronunciation while Yod was in Chinese lessons. I thought she hated me, but we went swimming today (where she was the one needing help, so we bonded), and she loves my Ukulele (ookalele in Thail). I still think she thinks I am an absolute moron. Jun (hoon) Mee and Jun Paw are my host parents, and they are lovely, warm and patient. There wasn’t a moment today where I felt alone, lost or in the dark. We went to get a cell phone, had ice cream, went to the market and went swimming. They are wonderful!

"Wang, sin, saam, take your marks... BEEP"

I am really in high spirits about everything and can’t wait for tomorrow to start… I think we are going on a adventure. Right now I am going to go practice the words that I learned so I can talk to Dohlrudee tomorrow!